I have reason to believe that I have victories to taste
I can feel them on my teeth, upon my lips and in my chest
I can roll them on my tongue, they are more supple than defeat
I feel the tension in my lungs and every move is fueled by my resolve to
Breathe ... Don't you want to breathe?
I can feel them on my teeth, upon my lips and in my chest
I can roll them on my tongue, they are more supple than defeat
I feel the tension in my lungs and every move is fueled by my resolve to
Breathe ... Don't you want to breathe?
Hi. hi everyone. It's been a good weekend you know. nothing has been achieved, as usual, but in it's own quiet, understated way it's been a good weekend. it got me to thinking about something last night actually. i don't know if everyone experiences this in the same way, but I was thinking that there have been several moments in my life where everything has just been ... perfect. those transcendental moments where you have no worries, no cares, nothing, you're just living in this amazing moment that makes you think 'this is what life is for.' do you understand what I mean? i think I've been lucky in that there have been four or five moments in my life where I could say I was truly, perfectly happy. And if you don't mind, I'd like to tell you about them. Maybe you'd like to share a few of your own. if so feel free! Be warned though, it's a long one. (That's what I said!! Yessssss!)
When I was maybe 10 or 11, it was the last year of primary i think, I was invited to a sleepover with a bunch of friends at Charlene's house. It was so awesome. We played Dreamcast and ate junk food and stuff. The best part was when it was like 11 at night, and what happened was I was giving this cute girl who I used to like a lot a neck massage, which in itself was pretty cool, but then we turned the like disco ball light thing on, turned the lights off, and '2 in a million' by S Club 7 (i know, so cool) came on and I don't know exactly what happened but it was kinda like time slowed down, you know how they do in some movies, when the protagonist realises exactly what he's got? Like a slow-Mo of his family laughing and joking, and him giving a knowing smile? It was kinda like that. And the strangest thing is that I can remember almost everything about that night. I remember we played some boxing game on the dreamcast. I remember we ate marshmallows. I remember Charlene's brother being jealous. haha. It dawned on me i guess, it doesn't have to be like a huge all-encompassing moment to make you glad to be alive. it could just be fingers on flesh in the dark, surrounded by the people you love. Wow that sounds weird. It wasn't I swear :p
In year 8 our Geography class went to somewhere in some hills in Yorkshire I guess it was. Not entirely sure where but that's not what is important. If you leave a group of 14 year olds on their own things are gonna happen. And things did happen. Got a little risqué. Never a bad thing. Anyway one morning I was up early, like 5 or 6 I guess, and we were up on a hill looking over this kind of valley and there was also a big old Viaduct there, it was amazing. It was kinda frosty, and there was mist just hanging really low in the air, making everything look hidden and secretive. so good. I just sat on the steps of this place we were staying in and looked out for like half an hour, watching the light and the mist mess around, watching the world change. This girl Charlotte came out and sat next to me and sorta rested her head on my shoulder. And then it happened. Slow-motion realisation moment. I don't even know why. Not like i even liked this girl. I think it was just the whole thing of being able to share this with someone. It's good to not be alone. The whole trip was pretty awesome, but i'll always remember that as my definitive 'being-awake-early-and-seeing-something-amazing' moment. I'm always open to a new one though.
Summer 2006 in my hometown. Perhaps the best time of my life so far. So many things I remember from back then. Frog cake and water fights, day trips to the beach, running from the law and drinking at the park almost every day. So many new things and new people, but also old memories and things I don't ever want to forget. I felt alive for so much of that summer, everyone just seemed so free and happy. I guess it was contagious. I spent most of the time with my boys, Smiley, Kenty, Hen, Whippet. Of course there were the girls too. Lest we forget. I think one of the best nights i've ever had was a party in the park for someone's birthday. A lot of people were there, from school, and a lot of alcohol was consumed by all. I met quite a few people who I still talk to now; Amy for one. And emulsion (in-joke) and the twins were there and Morgan. It was a tangled web indeed. Anyway, Amy kicked me in the ribs for insulting her brother, we drank in the tent round at Kate's, Kenty and Amy should have got together but they missed each other. So much shouting and drinking and taking chances. I miss nights like that so much. It's never ever as much fun to get bungalowed when you can do it legally. It was the best of times it was the BLERST of times?! Yeah it was.
Me, Rachel, J and Pat went to London to film the second part of our Music Video. haaaaa. I don't think I've ever been involved in such a failure ... well, until SCD came around that is. Anyway early 08. We went on the train. There were so many big plans; where we'd go, what we'd shoot. But nothing ever works out the way it's supposed to does it? This time I think that was for the best :) We got turned away from shooting in the tube. We couldn't decide what to do. In the end we just went to Camden. We sat and talked and just took everything in. Rachel got scared by pige0ns, J ate noodles, there were Camden goggles, it was just a really vibrant, colourful LDN day. Everything seemed new and bright and we got on so so well. That really was the foundations of Team Awesome right there. And even though we've kinda fractured a little since then, I'll never forget the glory days of Music Video Production and the wasted day in London that made me realise just how much my friends meant to me. And still do. I love all of you guys. And hey, it all kinda worked out in the end. I live for days with friends when nothing gets achieved. these are the best kind of days.
The 5th and final moment I wanna tell you about happened quite recently actually. 11/10/2008 I met Rachel G. And I kinda haven't looked back since. I dunno if I've changed but I feel different sometimes. It's all new to me, for a girl to love me BACK?! Madness. I get butterflies man! Actual butterflies (no not actual butterflies, dunno why i threw that word in there. I don't own any butterflies) when I talk to her sometimes. I can't help but feel soooo optimistic about this. We've already been through a lot, in a strange way, and yes things are pretty subber. Awwwwwooooooooooooo!! Can't wait for more. ^_^
When I was maybe 10 or 11, it was the last year of primary i think, I was invited to a sleepover with a bunch of friends at Charlene's house. It was so awesome. We played Dreamcast and ate junk food and stuff. The best part was when it was like 11 at night, and what happened was I was giving this cute girl who I used to like a lot a neck massage, which in itself was pretty cool, but then we turned the like disco ball light thing on, turned the lights off, and '2 in a million' by S Club 7 (i know, so cool) came on and I don't know exactly what happened but it was kinda like time slowed down, you know how they do in some movies, when the protagonist realises exactly what he's got? Like a slow-Mo of his family laughing and joking, and him giving a knowing smile? It was kinda like that. And the strangest thing is that I can remember almost everything about that night. I remember we played some boxing game on the dreamcast. I remember we ate marshmallows. I remember Charlene's brother being jealous. haha. It dawned on me i guess, it doesn't have to be like a huge all-encompassing moment to make you glad to be alive. it could just be fingers on flesh in the dark, surrounded by the people you love. Wow that sounds weird. It wasn't I swear :p
In year 8 our Geography class went to somewhere in some hills in Yorkshire I guess it was. Not entirely sure where but that's not what is important. If you leave a group of 14 year olds on their own things are gonna happen. And things did happen. Got a little risqué. Never a bad thing. Anyway one morning I was up early, like 5 or 6 I guess, and we were up on a hill looking over this kind of valley and there was also a big old Viaduct there, it was amazing. It was kinda frosty, and there was mist just hanging really low in the air, making everything look hidden and secretive. so good. I just sat on the steps of this place we were staying in and looked out for like half an hour, watching the light and the mist mess around, watching the world change. This girl Charlotte came out and sat next to me and sorta rested her head on my shoulder. And then it happened. Slow-motion realisation moment. I don't even know why. Not like i even liked this girl. I think it was just the whole thing of being able to share this with someone. It's good to not be alone. The whole trip was pretty awesome, but i'll always remember that as my definitive 'being-awake-early-and-seeing-something-amazing' moment. I'm always open to a new one though.
Summer 2006 in my hometown. Perhaps the best time of my life so far. So many things I remember from back then. Frog cake and water fights, day trips to the beach, running from the law and drinking at the park almost every day. So many new things and new people, but also old memories and things I don't ever want to forget. I felt alive for so much of that summer, everyone just seemed so free and happy. I guess it was contagious. I spent most of the time with my boys, Smiley, Kenty, Hen, Whippet. Of course there were the girls too. Lest we forget. I think one of the best nights i've ever had was a party in the park for someone's birthday. A lot of people were there, from school, and a lot of alcohol was consumed by all. I met quite a few people who I still talk to now; Amy for one. And emulsion (in-joke) and the twins were there and Morgan. It was a tangled web indeed. Anyway, Amy kicked me in the ribs for insulting her brother, we drank in the tent round at Kate's, Kenty and Amy should have got together but they missed each other. So much shouting and drinking and taking chances. I miss nights like that so much. It's never ever as much fun to get bungalowed when you can do it legally. It was the best of times it was the BLERST of times?! Yeah it was.
Me, Rachel, J and Pat went to London to film the second part of our Music Video. haaaaa. I don't think I've ever been involved in such a failure ... well, until SCD came around that is. Anyway early 08. We went on the train. There were so many big plans; where we'd go, what we'd shoot. But nothing ever works out the way it's supposed to does it? This time I think that was for the best :) We got turned away from shooting in the tube. We couldn't decide what to do. In the end we just went to Camden. We sat and talked and just took everything in. Rachel got scared by pige0ns, J ate noodles, there were Camden goggles, it was just a really vibrant, colourful LDN day. Everything seemed new and bright and we got on so so well. That really was the foundations of Team Awesome right there. And even though we've kinda fractured a little since then, I'll never forget the glory days of Music Video Production and the wasted day in London that made me realise just how much my friends meant to me. And still do. I love all of you guys. And hey, it all kinda worked out in the end. I live for days with friends when nothing gets achieved. these are the best kind of days.
The 5th and final moment I wanna tell you about happened quite recently actually. 11/10/2008 I met Rachel G. And I kinda haven't looked back since. I dunno if I've changed but I feel different sometimes. It's all new to me, for a girl to love me BACK?! Madness. I get butterflies man! Actual butterflies (no not actual butterflies, dunno why i threw that word in there. I don't own any butterflies) when I talk to her sometimes. I can't help but feel soooo optimistic about this. We've already been through a lot, in a strange way, and yes things are pretty subber. Awwwwwooooooooooooo!! Can't wait for more. ^_^
So there we go. Those are the 5 time in my life that i can remember feeling more than happiness. Sheer and absolute joy at being alive. Thank you life for giving me these moments. I look forward to more, maybe with some of you? That'd be the best. Rusty isn't around I'm afraid so you'll have to wait. Don't be too disheartened eh? I am done finally. This blog took me around 3 hours to write for some reason. jesus. X x
Posts
2 comments:
thanks :P
this blog makes me smile so much. I love seeing how other peoples lives work.. other people always seem so interesting in comparison.
..*adds to list of followed blogs*.
:) xx
Haha wow that's exactly how I felt when I read your last post. But then I guess things different from your own normality always seem interesting. Nice to have you as a follower Dani. This makes me :)
xx
Post a Comment