Strawberry Fair yesterday. I met some awesome new people, got a little drunk, thrashed to some great bands, saw a man dressed as a horse. The usual. Got some nice photos from it that I played around with in Photoshop cuz that's how I roll. Take a look. Hey you might even see yourself! Intense right!

Jamie "Jamir" Smith, MaxComp, Narayan OH


Georgia and Colleen =)


Me and NarayanOH outside the Future Tent


Rachel Bright Eyes =) and MaxComp


J in grey and Colleen in supercolour woop woop

NOT MUCH ELSE TO REPORT I'M AFRAID. I'M STAYING UP TIL LIKE 4AM WATCHING WWE CUZ I AM COOL LIKE THAT. OH WHERE'S POUNDER?? FML GOGOGO ENJOY THE REST OF THE BLOG I'VE GOTTA GO! xo

SO I'M TWENTY YEARS OLD.

That sorta thing comes and goes you know. Everyone thinks you'll feel different overnight. That's er, that's not true. Except I had to, out of necessity and a promise. I vowed to drop my emo shit and play it straight from now on. So that's what I'm doing. I instantly feel more smiley and optimistic. Even got a celebratory haircut to seal the deal didn't I? Yeah I wanna be all like OH i'm sXe baby, real straight edge. But that's a lie. It's something I am interested in, sure. But I'm also interested in getting drunk and ridiculous. That probably outweighs the desire to be part of the Straight Edge scene. At least I can still be hXc and cXc (I think I just invented that but it now means Crunkcore. Spread the word kids.) Acronyms with large X's in the middle are always cool right? I don't know how to feel about not being a teenager anymore.

The Past

Part of me wants to cut it all off. Just totally forget it. 16-17 was the worst time of my life. I left school too early and I fell into depression, cutting, addictive behaviour, violence, crime ... Everything that could go wrong did basically. I lost friends I should never have lost. I made friends I should never have made. I did stuff I should never have done. I was wasting my life away in a place that was gonna kill me.

Part of me wants to cherish it. Just remember every single detail. 18-19 has been the best time of my life. I moved to Cambridge and found my home. I now have the best friends; Jamie, Rach, Dave, Pat, Colleen, Lav, Narayan, they're all amazing. I love every one of them so much. Everything that could go right did basically. I stopped cutting and sorted my life out thanks to some important words from important people. I made friends I'm so thankful for. I met a girl, eventually, and I did things I'll always remember.

The Present

College is nearly done. This makes me equally sad and hopeful. Sad because I know some people will drift apart, and nothing will ever feel as good as some of the days we've had. When everyone connected and loved and lived all in the same moment. When the nights were long and the living room was on the front lawn. Hopeful because change isn't always for the worst. New opportunities and new places, new but hopefully old faces. It's gonna be tough for everyone to get around to visit peeps at uni, people are gonna be huge distances apart, but it'll happen. Swear down. The people I most care about visiting are gonna be in Cambridge or up in Lincoln my old hangout anyway. So I should be cool. I just worry about everyone else. Please, don't let people who matter to you fade out of your life. Because it's the biggest mistake you'll ever make. One night it'll hit you what you lost and you'll regret it forever. Trust. Only FS4, TV studio and FMP remain. 2 of those will be fine. FMP will not. However, who gives a shit. Stop taking life so seriously.

The Future

So I'm going home after College finishes. Probably not for the entire gap between College and Uni (I'm heading Bournemouth btw. Scriptwriting fyi) but for a while. Gotta see mum, and dad I guess, and probably do something stupid with my old friends. Eugh. I'd much rather stay up here, but I don't have a place or any money to live. SO I guess that's out. HOLY FUCK wow ok. That hurts. Shit ... Ok I'll deal with that tomorrow. Hurrrr girls kill me. Never mind. Non-emo = no heartbreak. certainly not. MMM so yeah, Bournemouth in September provided I get in, otherwise it's London South Bank for me baby. I don't particularly care. Tbh if Bournemouth didn't seem so good for the course, I would have no problem at all going to LSBU, england's worst university. Just cuz of location and stuff. Ravensbourne is pretty close for Dave and Westminster is closer still for Narayan. Oh and Wimbledon for Zeeee!! Wow.

In the end, I have decided to let life do what it wants to do to me and stop taking it so seriously. Give up hope on anything ever working out how you might expect. Just keep a positive outlook and see where I end up. Sometimes, just sometimes, great things happen. And sure, I'll work for what I want and work damn hard, but I'm not gonna waste my time on pointless ventures or pointless people. I'll do anything for my friends, cuz in the end we come to this world with nothing and we leave with nothing but love. Everything else is just borrowed (thank you Mike Skinner =P). Right now I'm gonna smile. Things might go wrong, but I have a feeling they might just go right. It's all to do with your outlook. And I don't mean Outlook Express. One of Zee's posts inspired me today. She is amazing in every way. FANBOY =P.

Strawberry fair Sat'day innit, I'll probably end up there at about 9 or half 9 after a day of trolling round town and eating some meal. Pity that Colleen will probably have left by then if she turns up at all, and I dunno about J and Narayan. ARGH could do with some more cash in hand but whatever. Friday today. gotta go to the bank later erm should I miss Key Skills and go in the morning or try and get back quick and ... No i can't do that they close at like 4:30. fuck my banking. OH WELL Ski Kills has gotta be missed then. And it will be missed.

Soundtrack to my life. Past, Present and future.

Papa Roach - Scars. Summer 2006. Disaster and redemption.


3OH!3 - Don't Trust Me. Early Summer 2009. Giving up and moving on.


Brand New - Trees/Brickhouse (live). Uni time 2009. Brand New.


Did ok I think.
Thanks for sticking it out.
xo

First things first: I hate fruit tea. Don't ever buy me it or administer it to me it's fucking Mexico.

Second things second: I get more worried by not having my friends around than things I should be worried about like not being able to pay rent/my phone contract/life.

Third things third: My mum is a hero :)

Fourth things fourth: Zack and Miri make a Porno is a lovely film, plus it has Jason Mewes in it and he has some sick ink, plus that porn star. Good times.

Fifth things fifth: I wish I'd taken more chances.

Oh and sixth things sixth: Long long long phone call to the girl i love is a good way to make me feel happy happy. Well weapon.

NOW LET ME SHOW YOU SOME THINGS :L
MUSIC. HERE IS SOME MUSIC I HAVE RECENTLY ENJOYED. YOU MIGHT TOO. YOU PROBABLY WON'T. I COULD CARE LESS. (yeah so my music taste sucks get over it)

A Skylit Drive - Wires and the Concept of Breathing (2008 Post-Hardcore)

Street art is FUN

Yeah so I got a whole new look
How'd you like it?
New shit still to come
It's a strong game for me. J helped a lot.
He's a hero.
Things are good today.
:)

THIS IMAGE MAKES ME HAPPY

Everyone should use plurk because the potential
For update/comment humour is amazing. See example:

SO.
I want to take you back to my happiest but at the same time
most melancholy moment that I can remember. It was sad
but for all the right reasons I guess you could say?
It was also the closest I'd ever felt to anyone else ever.
I don't know if it still is. But it's up there.

See I was in Wragby, in 06, with the old crew. And there was this one girl, Emma, and she was beautiful. I mean honestly she could have been a model. Maybe she is now? I don't know. She had the most amazing eyes. Everything changes doesn't it? ANYWAY the point is, one night I met her on a bench, or should I say 'the' bench and she was crying. I talked to her a little, tried to make her feel better. Anyway I eventually found out she had split up with her long-time boyfriend. He was a mate of mine too so I felt bad like, for both of 'em. Just cos' I knew they were really in love, I mean sometimes you see a couple and you just know. They felt like forever. After a few minutes of silence I got my phone out and played a song that I knew she liked. I started sort of singing it to her and after a few seconds she just collapsed on my shoulder in a flood of tears. I held her tight and told her everything would be ok.

They got back together the week after that. I've never felt so helpful and helpless at the same time before or since.

#322 - Someone who will watch the sunrise with me

I found this amazing feed on tumblr. If you don't know what tumblr is then go find out. Anyway this is brilliant. And yeah it's written from a women's POV but who cares? It's still awesome. If you think you can do better then I dare you to try.

SO I DON'T LOOK THE SAME AS I DID. RAWR.

Pacman. ftw.

#386 - Someone who will take an interest in what I have to blog

One day I'll walk away and you'll be all like 'oh shit I probably should have made out with him at least one time. He looks like some kind of smooth operator' and by then it'll be much too late. Just remember: Feelings are boring, kissing is awesome.

It's Zoe's and Ruth's birthdays today. I have no idea if I got the apostrophes or lack of right there. Although I'm not as bad as Steve at positioning apostrophes.
Anyway yeah, how weird is that?
Some of you may know what I'm talking about, others will not. Don't lost sleep over it.
TALKING OF LOSING SLEEP, HERE I AM DOING THIS FUCKING BLOG AT ALMOST 1AM, I'LL BE UP TIL LIKE 4:30 COS OF THE WWE AND TOM SHAMBLING IN AT SOME POINT. NO-ONE EVER ACHIEVED ANYTHING ASLEEP RIGHT? not that i'm gonna achieve anything anyway but still. fuck it.

THIS IMAGE MAKES ME LESS HAPPY

Hey I'm an NFL fan so I appreciate a Cardinal more
than most, but still! What is this? I've heard the new
single ... errrr I dunno. It's a grower perhaps? It
definitely didn't hit me as much as some of their early
stuff. It doesn't have the power of We Are The End
or To A Friend that's for sure
(oh btw we're talking about alexisonfire here. noobs) Anyway.
I know Zoe isn't so impressed.

BUT GO MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS.

SCREAM UNTIL YOU KNOW FOR SURE.

#485 - Someone with eyes so beautiful they make me wish you didn't blink. (Although that'd be pretty freaky.)

We're gonna make these last few weeks the best of our lives. Everything changes, and nothing can last forever. But memories stick around. So does photographic evidence. So let's make a pledge right now. We make this everything we can. We live dangerously, we take risks, we be who we wanna be, and be with who we wanna be with. We take too many photos, we laugh too loud, we get in trouble and get out of it. Because none of this matters if you're not living. YOU DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND FUCK THE REST. Be reckless. Take a chance. Fall in love.
Dwayne. We are all Dwayne.

"giochero fino a che il cielo non sia nero" -z.h./aof

A siren and a birdsong
The juxtaposition isn't lost on me
Death and life.

LIFE YOU ARE RIDICULE, FUTILITY, TORMENT, FRUSTRATION, PAINFUL IRONY, SORROW, EMPTINESS, LONELINESS. DESPAIR, HEARTBREAK, ANGUISH, ANGER, INJUSTICE, LOSS, TRAGEDY, DISASTER.
BUT WE LONG FOR YOU. AND THERE IS NOTHING ELSE. BEING ALIVE IS. IT'S PRETTY COOL TO LIVE.
Yet still, one day we die. And then nothing will have mattered. But we comprehend that when we choose.
FOR NOW SIGUR ROS BIRDS.

christ ...

What have I just done?

Man it feels like forever ago that I last blogged. It was quite a long time wasn't it? Dear me. Well listen, Zoe was like 'oh man do another blog' and so here I am. Blogging. And actually this time I do have some stuff to write about. You lucky, lucky people. First of all I think I'll share a few photos that I've took recently, just ones that make me look talented with a camera. If you're an avid fan of me anywhere else on the internet (and why wouldn't you be quite frankly) then you might have scoped a few of these before. Either way they're here now so just calm down and take a look.

A random Balloon down near Mill Pond in Cambridge

Little bit of motion blur action at CRC


The classic dandelion depth-of-field shot

That'll do for that then. I never really wanted to be a photographer but I like doing it you know? It's a hobby and guess what I'm pretty good guys ;D SO yes onto more or less more important matters. Man, this 80's music countdown has just turned up on TMF. Let me just say that YOU ARE GOLD, GOOOLLDD!! Yes yes yes yes yes.

Ok so I decided on uni's didn't I? Got my applications sorted. Bournemouth first choice, LSBU as backup - sorry Stafford. It's not you, it's me. Now I gotta deal with applying for accomodation and student finance and whatnot. Oh and I also have to deal with getting IN to Bournemouth. DMM is required. I should be able to manage it, just gotta merit the majority of FMP and I'm there. Happy days. College has been such a drag lately though, I've just lost every ounce of desire to do anything when I'm there. I know Lav and Col feel pretty much the same. A lot of the problem is that we haven't had any lecturers for like 3 weeks, no-one's pushing us or giving us any info about assignments, no-one knows when the deadlines are for stuff, it's just a mess basically. They need to sort their shit out. Apparently we've got an assignment in for Thursday. Jesus my life. Better get to work on that riiight.

So I been filming FMP lately, not just mine (cos tbf I didn't film that, Jamir did) but I'm acting in Lav's too, and I helped out on J's. If you get a chance to get to the FMP screening (June 24th I think?) some of the stuff I've seen is looking pretty good. Not mine. Or Lav's, even though I'm in it so it's pretty good by default, but Laurie's monologue movie looks amazing, and Pat's Shane Meadows-stylee beat 'em up is also looking mint. Oh brb gotta put some pasta on. Yeah so we're nearing the end of the course now, and I don't think I'm alone in saying THANK CHRIST FOR THAT. Year 1 was amazing. Year 2 less so. I guess I had some personal shit that kinda dragged me down during this year but I dunno. I still don't think the course is structured or organised well at all. Man I've made that point twice now. I should shut up about that.

So Scrubs finished in the US the other night. That sucks. That means it'll be finishing over here in like a year and a half. It's probably my favourite ever TV show. Either Scrubs or House. Or Diagnosis Murder but that's for retro comedy value. Man I really like medical shows. What's that about? Obviously I have a subconscious desire to be a doctor. I would love to be a doctor. How long does it take to be a doctor? Like seven years? I could rattle that out in a few months. Easy as pie. Nah but seriously, it takes a lot of time and commitment to be a doctor. Commitment that i most probably don't have. Ah well. Maybe in the next life eh. Oh food time. Gimme a few minutes here. Ok score. That was nice. I had red sauce on pasta with sauusaage chopped up in it. (Linda McCartney cos of course I've gone veggie for a little while.) Pisses me off, Steve keeps saying 'oh it's like saying you're a Christian and not believing in God' and I'm like 'no it isn't? I didn't say I don't believe in meat.' What it's like is I'm not eating meat for a while and seeing what happens. That's it. Ta-da.

This summer is gonna suck for me. Don't even know where I'll be living until university. But what does it matter right? I'm not saying I believe in like, 'fate' as in a set outline of exactly what is gonna happen. Cos that'd just suck. But you know, whatever happens happens. And I'm just gonna embrace it. Go for what I want and let everything else sort itself out. Our hot water is broken. FML.
Currently listening: Bob Marley - Three Little Birds with American Dad in the background
Currently watching: Man Utd vs. Man City (COME ON YOU BLUUEESSS!!)
Currently also: Playing Football Manager. Esbjerg fB.

Right then. There we go. Satisfactory. Gonna go wake steve up and have a beer. Real nice.
xo

OH p.s. If you're on twitter how about you follow these people: @ryanqnorth, @scottmccloud @dresdencodak and @untoward - all my webcomic guys. Ryan North of qwantz.com, Scott McCloud from that book, Aaron Diaz from dresdencodak.com and Joey Comeau from asofterworld.com and hell why not follow @zoe_louise too, just cos she's lovely and awesome :D

xo

Eugh I am ill and i hate it. I have Lemsip Max cold and flu, Sudafed Day and Night (Shabadabadabadabadabadabadurrdurrdurrdurr day and night) and Nurofen Express as well as the classic Lucozade/Chicken Soup combo just to really fucking blitz this Sinusitis or Wesley Snipes flu or whatever I've got. I never really get it ill properly, so this is new. Steve's all like 'oh Bourn you're faking it, you're a skiver Bourn a world class skiver' but when I'm like 'well let me lick you then' he's all like 'NOOOO!!!' It's clear I am in a world of actual illness. Anyway, hopefully gonna get rid of this shit sometime soon. Hopefully soon enough to get to college on Thursday because college = my life. yeah I'm sad like that. But hey, it's also cool staying at home. I'm currently on the sofa with a blanket and copious amounts of scrubs, chicken soup and medication. I'm deliriously happy (or maybe just delrious. I have taken a LOT of drugs. Hope I don't O/D!) because I can't feel anything! Yay for painkillers, decongestants and antipyretics.

Hoi so yeah that's what is going on right now. I was in March at the weekend with the get up kids, we had an awesome Saturday night down the Griffindor and Cassano's, me and J and Col and Robynne and Hannah it was super cool super kuwaii ^_^ EARLIER THAT DAY we were filming with Lav. It was fun. I like acting. We were supposed to shoot Sunday too but that never worked out because Lav is a sexual predator. Or something along those lines. Good for her though, big feel. IF YOU GET MY DRIFT?! A HA HA. very good. Yeah so God knows, i can't film tomorrow though, Sinusitis/flu recovery time=4 days minimum. We'll film again I'm sure. Well, we have to, see, we've only done half. YES. Enough about that uninteresting shit. I still have to film mine at one point. Plenty of time though right? RIGHT? Haaaaaaa FML! I'm all ill and shit. My bones feel weak too. I hope it's not anything more serious, cos you know, that'd suck. Oh well, we move along. Missed college today obviously. goes without saying. BUT HEY. not like we ever do anything. OH.

THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME ACCORDING TO ME are the band Fight Fair, mainly because they sound like Fall Out Boy, YM@6, MCR and Blessthefall all at once. San Diego was one of my faves, cos' it's a little heavier, and there's screaming and shit, but I've heard 2 versions and only one is good. omegle.com is also insanely awesome. Basically you get dropped into chat with random strangers. Sometimes it's deep, sometimes it's not, sometimes it's funny, sometimes they just shout obscenities at you, often the best part is when you say something and your chat partner disconnects because it's immensely offensive, insensitive, racist, sexist, anything. everything. It's beautiful. It's just real life but condensed into an immaculate text window. Go to it now. Bacon. Also worth a mention. Interestingly it's been the only thing I've been able to taste today. Good work bacon. everything else just tastes like meh. good old nose/sinus combo. thanks for that. SCRUBS SCRUBS SCRUBS. Season 6 is like my 2nd favourite season I think. Sometimes it makes no sense like when Cox has his head shaved 2 episodes before he shaves his heads. Oh well. Qwantz.com is great today. Meat is a good choice. Got new shirts I'll debut them as soon as I'm better. Extreme new-rave pacman ghosts and Anchorman T. Epic.

I started this blog about two hours ago. Christ my life. Steve is pretty cool right now. He's my best cousin. Well, apart from Dan maybe. Dan is the future of football and totally non homo. Max respect for Dan. Anyway I love in-jokes, and i think the in-jokes i have with steve and the gang maybe maybe maybe just slightly pip the college in-jokes to the post. it's close though. ARGH WHAT A TOUGH DECISION. I FEEL DELIRIOUS. my throat hurts now. fuck my life. Right fuck this this post is becoming lose. I haven't done anything worth talking about. I haven't been to a gig, I haven't met a girl, I haven't been in a fight, I haven't been out. Oh wait i have. ANYWAY. Until next time bitches. GGGDGDSHWEJDPSHEDWEWEOAALWLAOWLLEOSWE

xo

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind

And now all your love is wasted
And who the hell was I

Who will love you
Who will fight

not me anymore.

Guys. Check out my mix of a remix of In for the Kill by La Roux. (translates as 'the sauce' muchos lolz)
Original credit for the mix goes to Skream
But I added heavy bass samples and a couple of new loops so now I'm taking credit for it. Haha.
If you love bass then turn the sub up loud and shake the place to shit!

Download here!

I put so much in and get so little back.
I feel like I'm up against a fucking brick wall. If you don't care then I won't care. fuck it.

So where have I been since my last post? I've been home, and technically I guess I still am. 100 miles from the last place I posted from; that's where I am now. I stayed at a friends close to home Tuesday and Wednesday, we just chilled in the sun, reminisced, drank a few beers and whatever. Then I went home home on Thursday. Met up with the old crew and remembered why I felt like I had to get out of there in 07. Everything got fucked up. Just like the good old days. I fucked up. Ketamine does bad things. Magical, amazing, extra-sensory, horrible, bad things. I'm not gonna say I can't see the attraction. I was somewhere else. Yeah, it was something new. I was not myself. But the next day I was freaking out. Paranoid, hyper, just not right. It's a weird feeling, and I don't like it. It makes stupid things happen.
We went to the cinema friday to see Fast and Furious, made a right mess of it, but it was pretty fun. Friday night was weird. Not like ket comedown weird, but just ... i dunno it made me think. Such a fucking contrast from Thursday. We just cruised around, listening to tunes, drinking a little, attempting to crash a party, running from authority. Those are the nights I miss. Nights when you feel alive for the right reasons. Here's to more of those. Cambridge based please. I miss Cambridge now. It feels more like home than Lincoln ever did. I dunno. It's strange, Colleen and maybe Lav and/or narayan will be heading to uni there in September, and I'm sure they'll love it, well ... maybe not narayan so much, although there is a castle there i don't know if he likes castles. But for gigs and nightlife Lincoln is pretty cool, and awesome student life too by all accounts.

So now I'm feeling like I need to do something different. Things need to change. Most of all I want someone. A very specific someone. And I don't wanna feel like I'm living a wasted life (do I say anymore? I dunno). I just need to feel like new shit is gonna happen. And soon. Yeah you can't have everything. But i need something. Some sort of rush. some sort of new place. new person. new experiences. Yeah you can judge me if you want. But we're all gonna die. And I wanna deserve it. (c)asofterworld - linkage This post has taken a serious turn for the emo but oh well. We all need a bit of that in our lives. I bought some new shit today, a couple of rings and a bracelet and a couple of shirts. Thinking of getting my hair cut pretty soon too. Nothing too drastic, just make it a little more emo (IF THAT IS POSSIBLE?!) no of course it is. everything can always be more emo. just add little black stars. But you know I'd give it all up for you. Sometimes love isn't about how much someone suits you, but how much you're willing to change to suit them. I fucking hope Tom has my money when I get back to Cambridge (backstory: I lent him £160 a few weeks ago, cos he couldn't afford to pay for some shit. Then he went to Scotland and I came home. The rest, as they say, is history.)

As far as college and uni goes, my FMP is fucked cos my actor left at easter and so did I, and I didn't book a camera for any time before we go back. Hopefully I can get a lend of J's but still, doesn't solve the actor/timings problems. It's a load of crap anyway, I wanna be a scriptwriter not a director. I have the ideas but I don't give a shit about getting em onto film. Write. Just let me write and there wouldn't be any problems. I'm going to uni to write, but me actually getting to my first choice (Bournemouth) depends on me making this film. It's Catch 22 I guess. Or maybe catch 23 (I wish i cared enough about this to try harder.) Why is it I cared enough about that stupid Film Studies report to write 6000 words but I don't care enough about my actual FMP to organise it properly? GAH. Oh well, it could be worse, I could be Lavinia. HAHA. pure filthy banter.

In other news: 1) If anyone wants to sell me a Friday day ticket to Reading festival I'd gladly take that off your hands. I don't think I've got much of a chance of getting to GIAN at this point considering it's tomorrow. Fail.
2) I'll be back in Cambridge on Tuesday and as bored as hell no doubt, so if people wanna do shit then hit me up. I think I'm heading to March at the weekend to help Lav with filming FMP even though i should probably be doing my own. But between then and then I am down for anything.
3) Narayan if you read this and have a scanner or go to Jamie's then i could use a digital copy of the TV studio script, I failed to aquire one on the last day of term. HELP ME HELP YOU. HELP ME HELP YOU!
4) gotta sort my fucking life out. In the immortal words of P Diddy on twitter: "LET'S GO!!!" Oh and bring on the summer.

I got ink today. I know right? Not the anatomical heart that was rumoured a couple of posts back, mainly because they only had an hour slot free, but also because it woulda been HELLA EXPENSIVE! But I'm still considering it - I saw a few designs in there that were really impressive. I got my latin today. 'Amor Vincit Omnia' - Love conquers all. I got it on my wrist for a reason. If you know me you know the reason. And I has pictures.

In the shop with the outline on there. I was pretty much on facebook the whole time.
I don't wanna sound like a douche but it didn't hurt. I mean it did, but it hurt goood.


Yeah so they clingfilmed me up like a chicken breast, taped me up good.
I left it a couple of hours then had it off. They guy said I didn't need to clingfilm it again,
cos it's just text or some shit. The 'c' in Vincit looks a bit like an 'e' don't you think?


And there she is. Real nice. Gotta get me some sudocrem or some shit later.
Really pleased with it, and the guys in the shop were cool too. £50 well spent.
Gonna make plans for that Anatomical Heart some time!! COME ON!! FUCKIN' HOSTILE!

After that I bought some beers. Later I'm gonna drink the beers cos the sun is out and it's warm and it's awesome. Last night was super cool too. Me, Rach, J, Narayan, Lav, Colleen all went out to cineworld, saw Haunting in Connecticut which was kinda lame. Predictable and blah blah. I remembered things I thought I'd forgotten. After we hit Pizza Hut. That was super fun. Gave rise to all sorts of new injokes. ECTOPLASM!! BLLAAUUURRGGHH!! Shit on your chest. You've got cancer and alzheimers oh well at least I don't have cancer. I'm OUTstanding. Build your salad. Filthy Banterloonneeess!! MATE last day of college tomorrow. Easter's gonna be good big feel. Love ya kids. x

So I mentioned in my last blog that I was thinking about getting my first ink soon. Well I was trawling Google for images and I found just about the perfect thing. What's even more amazing is this design is actually part of some kind of awesome light box that I really really want. Unfortunately they only deliver to US and Canada. Sucks. Either way here's the design.

fig.1.1

Awesome right? The question is of course, do I get just the outline or do I go full shading? It'd probably take a fucking age to finish something like that. Ahh I just dunno if I've got the patience. I know I've got the pain threshold but the patience? Not so sure. I really fancy some toast right about now. I've been eating fried rice all night. I mean, don't get me wrong it's lush but I need some bread up in this bitch. It's been an interesting night on facebook to say the least. All fun and games with Lav and J and some sound lads I don't know. Real nice. Right now I'm watching The Killers on Jools Holland and wondering when Tom is getting back. AH WELL. Gonna go get a drink and think about going to bed. But I don't think I'll manage that for an hour or two. Act right before you get smacked right or some other suitable gangster shit, PEEEACE. x

HELLO INTERNET.
So much talk lately of university and futures and plans. I just wanna concentrate on living right now. We'll deal with all that shit later. I want this weather to hold out and I wanna do stuff starting next Thursday thanks to this: Reaaal nice.

Yeah that's a cheque for £2714.26. Not bad for 0 days work. Anyway did you know that in Scandinavia they cash cheques the same day? None of this 5 working days shit over there. No sir. Lets all move to Norway now please? Anyway, Scandinavian relocation dreams aside, what have I been doing with myself lately?

I went to Liverpool yesterday. I was meant to be visiting a school friend ... well, that's not exactly how it went down. He went to the rugby with Steve, I stayed at his place and got pissed up and spliffed up with his housemates, cos you know, what else are you gonna do with your weekend? Spent £65 for 9 hours on trains and one hectic night in Liverpool. Was it worth it? Course it fucking was. ANYWAY i took photos. Some good, some not as good. whatever.

That's about all I got. I did an album on facebook of the journey home. One of my favourite photo collections I've taken in a while. Go take a look for it over there if you fancy it. It'll probably end up on here sometime soon anyway. How the hell is it nearly 1 already? Fml I'm so bad at doing stuff. But all that will change I swear. We've got plans (I know I know) but this is gonna be good. Finally gonna see Rachel again, it's been far too long, and we'll hit cineworld and do other stuff I would think. 31st that is. You're welcome to come down if you know who and where we are. I'm sure it'll be real nice.

I'm gonna head home in the easter holidays, probably around the 6th or something. Gonna be good to see my boys again. Not a clue where I'll be staying but that's the beauty of it. It's gonna be a messy few days I can predict that much. I think James is coming down for a few days before then, and we'll have some kind of easter celebration. Jamie if you read this you should come too!! It'll be a laugh as always. Whatever happens i'm looking forward to easter. Just need a break from college you know. I wanna see people outside of college more, and if the weather is cool all easter I reckon i'll be doing that a fair bit.

Other news from the world of me: I've just about decided on a design for my first ink, I'm thinking an anatomical heart, s'gonna be real nice. you wait and see. Gonna go watch Skins on the repeat and have a think about what to spend my money on. Any suggestions you just let me know.

I haven't posted for real in a while so here I am. I've been doing a lot of my work on alternate sites lately. You might wanna check em out if you aren't there already; twitter.com (search 'AKDB'), plinky.com, plurk.com, weebly.com, tumblr.com (I don't really get tumblr yet. I'll figure it out if I can be bothered. Looks fun though.) - all pretty much concerned with getting out there on the internet. making friends, being connected, finding things that you share with other people. This has been my whole life this weekend really. After the disappointment of not getting to do anything with J and Dave I retreated to the (relative) safety of the internet and took a look at what it had to offer. And the answer is a lot! If you're willing to put the time in. je t'aime l'internet.

I got a pretty much unconditional offer from LSBU last week. If Zoe reads this, I'd appreciate your advice here on what to do because like ... I would love to live in London. I want all this ...

But I'd much rather do scriptwriting than Film Studies. I just don't know what to do. If anyone has any opinions or reasons why one place would be better than the other I'm all ears. I mean, I know it's my decision in the end but at the minute I don't really favour either place over the other. Bright lights and city streets beckon, but so does the sea and the south coast. I just don't know. HELP MEEE!!

Elsewhere in my life I got some total money worries. Man i don't know if I'm gonna be able to pay my rent this month. Sucks. I'm pretty much relying on Steve (twitter.com/stevwhite) to be my dad and pay for my food and everything. Haha he's the best cousin I could ever have quite honestly. Don't ever tell him I said so but I love him to bits. I'm sure things'll be fine. They have a tendency to work out. Fingers crossed anyway.

I been on webcam with my girl a lot lately. It's awesome but it reminds me about the distance between us which sucks. In the spirit of this post however, I am optimistic about us. Can't help feeling like we were kinda made for each other - even though I hate that freakin cliché. Anyway ... exciting times!

I feel like writing something, maybe writing for somebody. It'd be nice to have a writing job. I've been writing a few random scenes this weekend. not for anything in particular, just for something to do mainly. It's fun though. Not a lot of people would agree but hey. Horses, courses, strokes and folks. All that jazz. I got a few e-mails from people regarding our Lina assignment, the freelance one. They might turn into real contacts who knows? I'd love to be a videographer for a snowboarding company. Even a photographer. It'd be the best thing.

That's pretty much all that's going on with me right now. I'll let you get on. Fire alarm's going off and everything shiiiittttttt I'm done! X x

RUSTY SAYS: "Yoyoyoyoyo s'up! Haven't been around for a while but that's ok. I was asleep. But now the sun is out and I did a big bear yawn and I'm awake like rraaggh. Oooh I'm looking forward to moving to London. There's a big bear community there. Bournemouth? Not so much. Right, I'm gonna crack open the Coors and relax outside. How are you spending your days in the sun kids? Rusty out! ROOOAAAGHH!!"

Plinky asked me for three songs that I'd put on a road trip mix tape. These are the 3 that I chose after much deliberation. If you haven't heard any of them then what are you waiting for?! Go find them. In other news: Follow me on twitter to find out lol :P