This is quick but not quite painless

Author: Aaron KD Bourn / Labels: , , , , , , ,

Go on just say it,
You need me like a bad habit,
One that leaves you defenseless, dependent and alone
(Are you afraid to say what you want to, tell me you want to)


WEEEEEELLLLLLLL. It's been a while since I blogged (I say a while, only a couple of days to be honest but on the internet that's like 60 million years) And so I am back. With stories and allsorts. Been having a fucking good weekend, the boys are down, the chips are down, we're throwing money round, sometimes foreign people make ordering food confusing, don't you think? NANDO's. You ever been to Nando's? Well Nando's is the worst place, the food is awesome, but when you go up to order they just fire questions at you like it's an interrogation, "HOW SPICY? ANY CHEESE OR PINEAPPLE? ANY SIDES? STARTERS? NUTS OLIVES? DRINK WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DRINK? HOW SPICY??!" fuckers. James got confused. He ended up ordering 2 sides and no main course, and not getting a glass for his drink. Bad times for him. and the other James thought they said 'house price' when they said 'how spicy?' and it was all a shambles. Me and Tom managed it ok though so heyyyy good times. And the food is good. Especially the wings. nom nom nom.

SO hey I was out last night, plenty of girls around hehe but I couldn't keep my mind off a girl that wasn't there (sorry Colleen, not you ;P) I was texting her pretty-much all night and today, dunno exactly what this is gonna lead to but I really really hope it's something. Because I don't know what I'd do if all of this meant nothing. I honestly believe that this means something. Sometimes you can just feel it you know? When something is different. Well this is one of those times. If you don't understand any of what I've just written, then fine, but if you do, I am glad. James thought his jacket got stolen, but actually it was on a chair that was over the other side of the room. Also, there was a tiny mexican man jiving around on the dancefloor, he was loving it. James hi-fived him. GOOD actual TIMES. And when Pendulum came on around 12:45 ... man ... It went OFF. James was going crazy, everyone was going crazy, mad mad mad maddddness. Love it. We thought we were gonna have to fight some guy, but he just wanted to know where the strip club was, ain't that always the way?

Why do black guys always sound the same in my impression of them? Crazy times. They always sound like a cross between L'il Wayne and Samuel L. Jackson. Sorry black guys. Talking of black guys, good heavens it's Superbowl time tomorrow!! WOOOO!! Arizona Cardinals, even if you don't win, you made me proud boys. Darnell Dockett, Adrian Wilson, Karlos Dansby, DEFENSE WINS CHAMPIONSHIPS!! Well, and offense. Larry Fitz and Kurt Warner, you win championships? Pleaaase?
Adrian Wilson Pictures, Images and Photos
Hit that sonofabitch. Hit him hard. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH. They are the things that are painful. You feel me?

GUYS it's Prague for those suckas next week. I kinda wish i was going, but at the same time, It's not gonna be life-changing. I dunno. HOPEFULLY Narayan is gonna blog from Prague so I can keep up with the goings-on. I hope no-one changes their pound coins for euros to go! Because they use Czech Krona's silly. Good heavens. DIG DUG TROUBLE! AHAHAAAAA. Dig Dug. what a game. You ever played it? I doubt it, but you should. You play a white smurf, and you dig and and inflate dragons that turn into faces and yellow blobs and er ... yeah it's awesome. Not really it's for the frikkin MAME. came out in like 81. siiick.

Guy I meant for this blog to be better but it hasn't really worked out like that has it? fuck sake. lol oh well I'm done. x

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That's where I wanna be

Author: Aaron KD Bourn / Labels: ,

They will see us waving from Such Great Heights
"come down now," they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away
"come down now," but we'll stay


Sometimes I want to be somewhere else. It's not my fault this time. Blame Tom. Once you see these photos then you might want to be somewhere else too. I think there's just something about snow. I love snow and I especially love high-contrast snow shots. WHICH IS LUCKY!
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Some people have all the luck. Not Tom, he got his bags lost by easyjet on the way back (including two snowboards, bindings, boots) which is pretty sucky. BUT hey you win some you lose some. And he won at being in France on a snowboarding holiday.

Oh I also found out that you can buy a watch that is made from rusted steel from the wreck of the Titanic. That sounds like the best thing ever (maybe not technically the best thing ever, but still, pretty awesome right?) Maaaan i want one, but it's one of those situations where the website has no price listed, which basically means 'you don't have the money to buy this.' Probably true! GOSH also before I forget: Congratulations Narayan! (I believe we are calling it 27 hours well spent.) And congratulations Jamie! (I believe we are calling it published work muthafucka?) And and congratulations ... everyone else! (I believe we are calling it a day now.)

Gonna spend the day in Cambridge tomorrow. Gonna get breakfast, and walk, and sit, and talk. Nothing else to do because I don't have you (yet.) Still, it's gonna be a laugh. God bless the daylight.

I'm done. x

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We coexist

Author: Aaron KD Bourn /

She said "No-one is alone, the way you are alone"
And you held her looser than you would have
if you ever could have known


So I got called an idiot for believing things can be better.
This is something entirely new.

Oh yeah, I could tell you all stories about being alone.
About January 2008. About how my wrists looked.
But I could tell you how there were people who cared.
How there are ALWAYS people who care.
We are here on this earth for a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a millisecond. We are dust.
But even dust needs to feel like it belongs sometimes I guess.

Yeah, words are my weapons
but these rounds were extra-special.
I marked them 'truth.'

done. x


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You move slow like daytime drama, and I'm boring like his songs

Author: Aaron KD Bourn / Labels: , , , , , ,

Shout and scream my friends, connect with me and we'll pretend
This night will never end, this night will never end
Just let go you'll see together we'll do anything
This night will never end, this night will never end


So. Hey. Went shopping today ^_^ Bought some new stuff, such as a hat and some shoes and a wallet and it was all pretty much awesome. Actually I can probably dig out a photo, forgive the emo fringe and whatnot, but that's me you know, fringe and a beard, can't complain. I can complain, because I wish my beard wasn't so ginger, it's weird. BUT NEVER MIND c'est la vie as they say in France.
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There we are. Lovely eh? I always look so pale in photographs ... I guess that's just because I turn the contrast up 2 clicks on every photo of me just by default. Force of habit. Talking of contrast, what a contrast in my mood from last week to this. I feel so buoyant, which is odd because I hate buoys almost as much as I hate Snakes. Yeah like I said, I have the feeling it's going to be a good week. And it has not disappointed so far. Let's hope tomorrow is less than awful, and we'll be onto a winner. ESPECIALLY as my friends James and James are coming down on Thursday for a weekend of being drunk, sitting, reminiscing (bout days when I had a Mustang?) I love to reminisce. It kinda ruins my spontanaeous possibly-going-to-Prague-for-lolz plan, but hey, it's allll good.

So I know a girl. And this girl is insecure. And she likes me, (I know this because she has told me!) and I like her quite quite a lot. BUT here's the problem guys and girls. She seems too unsure of herself, and everyone else, like the world has been nothing but cruel to her, and she can't seem to take anything that I say at face value. If i told her I loved her right now she would laugh it off and say that I was lying. BUT I WOULD NOT BE LYING. Why would i lie about something like that?! Gosh. Anyway that makes me sad, because I can see a future with this girl, which is odd because no girl has ever really made me feel like I could actually be with them (like really really for real) before. CRAZY RIGHT?! Yeah maybe, but it's nice to think about sometimes. It's nice to think that you are very nearly with someone. Maybe that's better than actually being with someone. I don't really know. I guess make the most of now is the message, because who knows what's gonna happen tomorrow. I think I might text her. For god sake, do something.

It takes one to know one. Joseph's blog was interesting. I tell a lie, it was fascinating. He writes so beautifully, so poetically. I am in love with Joseph even though he is out of love with all of this. I am sorry my friend that your soul is not long for this world. Alas; I hardly knew thee. Anyway that is my blog fan-boy mode over for today. And not a moment too soon I do believe. I SHOULD SHOWER. My clothes are worryingly un-dry. I hope the sun is out tomorrow. But if it's not I shall try not to be too disheartened. Whatever the opposite of fuck my life is. That.

I'm done. x

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So what's it feel like to be a ghost?

Author: Aaron KD Bourn / Labels: , , , , , , , ,

We could have had it all
Our backs against the wall
Our eyes blindfolded tight
Living what they call life


Louder now louder now. HEY so here we are again huh? Looks like the world is still going ok despite the fact I didn't blog yesterday. Don't panic Mr Mainwaring. Don't panic. Talking of the world and such issues, hey there's some credit crunch and whatnot. Jeez. But hey don't worry about it because I'm gonna buy myself a sweet Billabong cap and trainers and I am gonna look like a fucking emo troubadour. (Is that how you spell troubadour?) LET'S HOPE SO EH? Yeah man so when I get my paper, it's gonna go off. I fancy going somewhere, you know, like somewhere I haven't been. Going to new places has always been one of my favourite things. I would love to go to Prague next week just randomly, turn up and say hello to Drew and the kids, but I fear the only thing that would achieve is me going on report for not being at college. Bureaucracy eh? Red tape. You know how it is. But still ... if they think I'm gonna be sat there like a retard at college while everyone is getting pissed in the Czech Republic then they've got another thing coming. YOU HEARING THIS DREWBERT? I SAID FUCK THAT SHIT.

ONE WEEK FROM NOW is the Superbowl. Superbowl XLIII. Now that might not mean a lot to anyone who reads this because it's American Football (The sport Narayan.) But still, it's big and it's important and I'm looking forward to it. It's always good to have things to look forward to isn't it? I get the feeling this is going to be a gooood week. Rest assured you'll be the first to know if it isn't. Or if it is. This brings me neatly on to my next port of call. Jamie Smith. A very good friend of mine, in fact I might be so bold as to say my best friend. Anyway, what's been going on in his life lately has been very interesting, and sort of BIG. I'm sure he won't mind me saying he didn't apply to uni this year, a decision which i admit i questioned at the time like I guess a few people did considering how he moaned like a bitch about it. ANYWAY that's not important now. What is important is that a few weeks later two great opportunities fell right onto his face. AND THAT MY FRIENDS, IS SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT SPECIAL, DON'T YOU THINK? Sometimes things work out the way you want just because you take a chance. It's quite inspiring and just an awesome story really. Good work Jamie is the moral of this story. Do good things, take a few chances, and good things can happen. (Sssh don't let anyone hear but do you think some kind of higher power was at work there? Maybe ... fate?) Fate. What a ridiculous concept. But that's for another time.

OK onto other news: Skateboarding looks fun. I should be a skateboardist but alas I am too large for wooden boards. OOH Johnny Cash just came on! Awesome times. Very good lyrics too. A friend of mine wants her boyfriend to cheat on her so she can dump him. Don't you think that's kind of weird? Although in her circumstances perhaps I can accept it, her boyfriend does have some very strange friends who might put bodily fluids on her if she dumps him, and not in a good way either! People are sometimes stupid. She is kinda fucked up, self-destructive, bitchy, aggressive, a liiiittle bit insecure ... but she's amazing. I love her to bits. I dunno what went wrong but I hope she finds something better.

This has gone on for far too long. The wind is picking up now. My bones ache and my skin feels cold. We're gonna die like this you know? Miserable and old. But this week feels like it's gonna be good. It has promise, this week.

I'm done. x



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This Photograph is Proof - And I most definitely know you know

Author: Aaron KD Bourn / Labels: , , , , , , ,

Now I'm lying on the table
with everything you said
it will all catch up eventually
well it caught up and honestly
the weight of my decisions
were impossible to hold
but they were never yours
they were never yours


So could Failmouth be my home for the next three years? (STARTING SEPTEMBER THAT IS!) They sent me a letter asking me along for an interview on the 17th February (I THINK?!) which is pretty awesome news - although I'm guessing they do it for everyone so meh, if that's the procedure then let's get it on. If the photo is anything to go by, the place looks pretty awesome. Let's just hope everything gets sorted with the interview and etc. Narayan will need to be consulted! (Oh and sorry Narayan for stealing your idea of the picture and everything ^_^)

sunsett in falmouth Pictures, Images and Photos

College was fine today, skipped Key Skills because let's face it, there is absolutely no point to it apart from to make you not be a liar on your UCAS app. I suppose if I said I was gonna have a Level 2 ICT and numeracy I should probably be trying to get them but er ... I'm not. It's horrible. I popped in for the last ten minutes of ICT today and Dave and J were sat around debating whether you could crash planes into the Twin Towers on a Flight Simulator. J mentioned a tetris-themed Twin Towers .gif that he'd seen, we searched for it in vain for a few minutes. Key Skills ended. That right there is a little window into how much we care about learning Key Skills, and how much the teacher cares about making us learn it. Very, very little.

Anyway back to the main themes, back to the streets. UNIVERSITY. The big one. Some people are going, some people are not, some people should be going but don't want to, some people don't want to go but are being forced to. Whichever category you fall into, that's fine. I'm not here to judge, I'm just here to talk for no reason. So Falmouth were the second uni to get back to me, the first being Anglia Ruskin but the less said about them the better. I'm not gonna lie, I probably won't be going to Failmouth unless it's the only place that offers me a spot. It's a long way from here. From anywhere in fact. I'm caught in two minds because half the time I think anywhere is better than here (during my emo spells) and half the time I think moving so far away might just cut me off totally with everyone I used to know/currently know ... Which would fucking suck. We've already lost Rachel, I don't fancy losing everyone else so easily. You know what else PISSES ME OFF about Falmouth? It's one of the few places in the country that to get there by 10:30 am by train you actually have to leave THE PREVIOUS DAY! FML! So God knows how I'm gonna get there for the interview, I hope Narayan will have an idea!

That's pretty much all I came on to say. That and I'd better pop to Tesco in a second. Steve and SAS (It stands for South African Sarah. She's his girlfriend. She doesn't speak with as much of an accent as I'd like to be honest) have gone out to some Thai restaurant for dinner. Green Curry and Red Curry and Yellow Curry and Rice? I think so. What do Thai's eat for dessert? Sounds like the start of a really crappy joke, but it's not. I genuinely don't know. OH CRAP I know what I forgot. I was gonna say about Skins last night. I LOVED IT! And I know Colleen and Lav and other people that saw it did too. Even Zoe who thought it was gonna suck liked it. Cook is easily my favourite character, followed closely by Emily. Twins are fun. I used to know two sets of twins, Alison and Melanie and ... holy shit I've forgot the names of the others. Christ. Primary school was a long time ago guys.

Right I'm gone. Stay safe.



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This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue

Author: Aaron KD Bourn / Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
And if you did not want to see me again
I would understand


So I'm starting a new thing with this blog where the posts take their names from lyrics from Taking Back Sunday songs. And I'm also gonna put some general lyrics that I may or may not have just been listening to up at the top too, could be that they mean something to me when I hear them or maybe I'm just doing it for lulz. WHY? WELL WHYTF NOT? This is my blog I'll do what I want with it ok? Yes that is ok. MM I know it is because I said it. WHAT THE HELL THERE IS A MAN STOOD ON THE TOP OF A VAN! I THOUGHT HE WAS REALLY TALL BEFORE I INVESTIGATED FURTHER! That's delightful!

Bit of a strange day today eh? Got home early because my tutor is kind of strange. Yessir. Lina, good heavens you're dreadful. Anyway me and Fraser cut because she said we could. I was actually kinda surprised that nobody else left, considering how awful the lesson is and how relatively early we got out. Three-15 instead of 4-four:30. And the sun was shining when we got outside, which was lovely, cos it was rainy and awful when I left the house this morning. Yeah then I missed the shuttle bus but I didn't really mind because it gave me a chance to chat to Fraser. We had a laugh about things like the price of alcohol and Chris Deller and our lack of success with the ladies. Ahh good times. YES then I got home on the bus, the Citi 4 no less, and found out i had some money coming my way, which is always nice. Now, I think this every time i get a significant sum of money, but I might try not to just blow it on stuff that I don't need, wouldn't that be nice? Nah let's be honest, I don't care. Money's for spending on making yourself and other people happy, and if I don't come out of it with anything to show for it except having made my friends happy, well I'll be fine with that.

I'm going to try and work on a powerpoint presentation about my Final Major Project in a second. I should be doing it now, but I'm here blogging instead. I guess that says a little bit about how much I care about this work. I'd much rather be writing a script for something than doing a powerpoint about what I'm gonna write in my script. What is the fucking point? It turns out that we only have to do this to impress those douchebags from Ravensbourne (no offence) which kinda sucks, as I'm not even applying there. But c'est la vie, tout le monde, je t'aimais, je t'aime et je t'aimerai. Lol that last one looks like Samurai. ONE TWO THREE FOUR *DRUMS*

Also, the new series of Skins starts tonight, which is nice. It's one of the few things on TV that I actually find worth watching, despite the ridiculously OTT portrait it paints of teenagers. Well I dunno actually, I guess there are people with lives like that, but unfortunately I'm not one of them. Maybe if I smoked? I hear that's what all the cool kids are doing these days. I wish it would soon be warmer and brighter. Just a little warmer and brighter. Can't wait to crack out the shorts. But it's cold outside.

I'm not depressed enough to write an emo blog right at this minute, which is a shame because I'm sure I'd be good at that. OH WELL BACK TO THIS SHAMBOLIC PPT. Check it kids, catch you on the flip, etc.

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Leftover Pizza, Dissapointing Peanuts and My Friend Lav

Author: Aaron KD Bourn / Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,

So what the shit is up my friends from the internet? This is pretty cool huh? The way I am all here on the blog scene, making words happen for all the pretty people who live in places that are different to the place that I live in. Some of you might perhaps live in the place that I live in, but most of you will not. Wait, actually, most of you will, if you consider the place that I live in to be Cambridgeshire; as I imagine my audience for this blog will consist of Jamie and Narayan. For that I am strangely thankful and just a little bit happy. Maybe more than a little bit. Who knows?


So I bought this pizza earlier, it claimed to be Pepperoni stuffed crust. It cost me £2.99. I thought that was quite expensive for a singular disc of dough-and-meat-snack but hey, I can't argue with the profit margins of a multi-national supermarket chain I GUESS BITCH. Well anyway, I cooked up this mutha and ate some of it, like, two-thirds, and I left some in the kitchen because cold pizza is like ... well it's like nothing else on earth. It's like realising that the girl you fell in love with in High School has aged horribly and got really fat, and, and like, her sister, who was ok at the time, is now super hot, and you go date her instead. Maybe. Maybe it's like that.
ANYWAY the point I am trying to make in a roundabout way is when I ate the cold pizza later it made me think about kids' TV. I don't know why, but it did. Now, I don't know if it's just me (well I know it isn't. Steve agrees with me.) but I think kids TV these days absolutely sucks balls. Seriously. Back when I was a kid we had Postman Pat, Rosie and Jim, Bananaman, Dangermouse, Superted; now these were TV shows. Those were the glory days of kids TV. What the hell do kids have nowadays? Oh that's right - 'In the Night Garden.' A show where drugged up balloon monsters dance around and gargle ridiculous noises in an aggressive manner. Good. That's good. Kids, I pity you. You know what, when you're older you'll realise just how much this has destroyed your childhood, but for now I guess you're stuck with Nick Jr. You're stuck with Catscratch and Mighty B.
And people wonder why ten year olds are growing up with no respect for authority, why they're lashing out at teachers, parents and each other. It's called rebellion, and all you fuckers at Nickleodeon with all your mindless, watered-down, everyone's-a-dumbshit programming, you made it happen.


Also on my trip to aforementioned multi-national supermarket chain, i happened to purchase a packet of chocolate-covered peanuts for a tasty sum of 54 little pennies. A bargain, I thought, and rightly so. They certainly were low in price, but unfortunately, this magical low in cost was matched by a horrific low in quality. You know, it's like nobody even ate one of these before they sent them out from whatever giant factory they shipped from. I'm just saying, a little quality control wouldn't go amiss. Christ sake. There was some sort of weird skin on them, and it got stuck to the roof of my mouth, like when you try and siphon off petrol and it makes your mouth feel really dry? Yeah I hate that. Multi-National retailers suck, they're killing off small businesses and I am genuinely worried that when they have enough money, which must be any time now, they will actively seek to take over the world. Perhaps by force. And I don't want that.
ALSO BARACK OBAMA was sworn in as president today. I get the feeling that this is some sort of turning point in the future of the world that I live in because I believe in Barack. And about 300 million others do too, so I'm in good company I think. I stayed up on election night til around 5am with one of my best friends, just watching this amazing story unfold. I don't know why I feel so strongly about this, I don't have any reason to, but I think in life we latch onto things that can make us feel optimistic, no matter what the cause or the reason - and this is one of those cases.

So I have this friend, Lavinia. She's not French, I thought it was Lavignier when I first met her but it isn't. In fact she's half-American. Lavinia-May. She supports Barack Obama too. But that's not the reason I bring her into this bizarre equation. I was talking to her tonight. I dunno how we got onto this but she brought up the topic of 'honest voices' and 'dishonest voices' and whether everyone has one of each. I said that it depends. She asked me what on. I said 'If you can tell when someone is lying when they speak to you, then they have a dishonest voice. If you can't, then they have a very good dishonest voice.' It's not that I don't trust people in general, in fact I might be more liable than most to trust too easily ... But I dunno, recently my faith in people has been shaken, not by anything in particular, but I guess the world gets to you eventually. Everybody lies. And everybody should expect everybody to lie. Just don't come crying to me when you can't tell who has a dishonest voice and who has a very good dishonest voice.

Thanks for listening you guys. I guess I'll be back soon.

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