Eugh I am ill and i hate it. I have Lemsip Max cold and flu, Sudafed Day and Night (Shabadabadabadabadabadabadurrdurrdurrdurr day and night) and Nurofen Express as well as the classic Lucozade/Chicken Soup combo just to really fucking blitz this Sinusitis or Wesley Snipes flu or whatever I've got. I never really get it ill properly, so this is new. Steve's all like 'oh Bourn you're faking it, you're a skiver Bourn a world class skiver' but when I'm like 'well let me lick you then' he's all like 'NOOOO!!!' It's clear I am in a world of actual illness. Anyway, hopefully gonna get rid of this shit sometime soon. Hopefully soon enough to get to college on Thursday because college = my life. yeah I'm sad like that. But hey, it's also cool staying at home. I'm currently on the sofa with a blanket and copious amounts of scrubs, chicken soup and medication. I'm deliriously happy (or maybe just delrious. I have taken a LOT of drugs. Hope I don't O/D!) because I can't feel anything! Yay for painkillers, decongestants and antipyretics.

Hoi so yeah that's what is going on right now. I was in March at the weekend with the get up kids, we had an awesome Saturday night down the Griffindor and Cassano's, me and J and Col and Robynne and Hannah it was super cool super kuwaii ^_^ EARLIER THAT DAY we were filming with Lav. It was fun. I like acting. We were supposed to shoot Sunday too but that never worked out because Lav is a sexual predator. Or something along those lines. Good for her though, big feel. IF YOU GET MY DRIFT?! A HA HA. very good. Yeah so God knows, i can't film tomorrow though, Sinusitis/flu recovery time=4 days minimum. We'll film again I'm sure. Well, we have to, see, we've only done half. YES. Enough about that uninteresting shit. I still have to film mine at one point. Plenty of time though right? RIGHT? Haaaaaaa FML! I'm all ill and shit. My bones feel weak too. I hope it's not anything more serious, cos you know, that'd suck. Oh well, we move along. Missed college today obviously. goes without saying. BUT HEY. not like we ever do anything. OH.

THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME ACCORDING TO ME are the band Fight Fair, mainly because they sound like Fall Out Boy, YM@6, MCR and Blessthefall all at once. San Diego was one of my faves, cos' it's a little heavier, and there's screaming and shit, but I've heard 2 versions and only one is good. omegle.com is also insanely awesome. Basically you get dropped into chat with random strangers. Sometimes it's deep, sometimes it's not, sometimes it's funny, sometimes they just shout obscenities at you, often the best part is when you say something and your chat partner disconnects because it's immensely offensive, insensitive, racist, sexist, anything. everything. It's beautiful. It's just real life but condensed into an immaculate text window. Go to it now. Bacon. Also worth a mention. Interestingly it's been the only thing I've been able to taste today. Good work bacon. everything else just tastes like meh. good old nose/sinus combo. thanks for that. SCRUBS SCRUBS SCRUBS. Season 6 is like my 2nd favourite season I think. Sometimes it makes no sense like when Cox has his head shaved 2 episodes before he shaves his heads. Oh well. Qwantz.com is great today. Meat is a good choice. Got new shirts I'll debut them as soon as I'm better. Extreme new-rave pacman ghosts and Anchorman T. Epic.

I started this blog about two hours ago. Christ my life. Steve is pretty cool right now. He's my best cousin. Well, apart from Dan maybe. Dan is the future of football and totally non homo. Max respect for Dan. Anyway I love in-jokes, and i think the in-jokes i have with steve and the gang maybe maybe maybe just slightly pip the college in-jokes to the post. it's close though. ARGH WHAT A TOUGH DECISION. I FEEL DELIRIOUS. my throat hurts now. fuck my life. Right fuck this this post is becoming lose. I haven't done anything worth talking about. I haven't been to a gig, I haven't met a girl, I haven't been in a fight, I haven't been out. Oh wait i have. ANYWAY. Until next time bitches. GGGDGDSHWEJDPSHEDWEWEOAALWLAOWLLEOSWE

xo

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind

And now all your love is wasted
And who the hell was I

Who will love you
Who will fight

not me anymore.

Guys. Check out my mix of a remix of In for the Kill by La Roux. (translates as 'the sauce' muchos lolz)
Original credit for the mix goes to Skream
But I added heavy bass samples and a couple of new loops so now I'm taking credit for it. Haha.
If you love bass then turn the sub up loud and shake the place to shit!

Download here!

I put so much in and get so little back.
I feel like I'm up against a fucking brick wall. If you don't care then I won't care. fuck it.

So where have I been since my last post? I've been home, and technically I guess I still am. 100 miles from the last place I posted from; that's where I am now. I stayed at a friends close to home Tuesday and Wednesday, we just chilled in the sun, reminisced, drank a few beers and whatever. Then I went home home on Thursday. Met up with the old crew and remembered why I felt like I had to get out of there in 07. Everything got fucked up. Just like the good old days. I fucked up. Ketamine does bad things. Magical, amazing, extra-sensory, horrible, bad things. I'm not gonna say I can't see the attraction. I was somewhere else. Yeah, it was something new. I was not myself. But the next day I was freaking out. Paranoid, hyper, just not right. It's a weird feeling, and I don't like it. It makes stupid things happen.
We went to the cinema friday to see Fast and Furious, made a right mess of it, but it was pretty fun. Friday night was weird. Not like ket comedown weird, but just ... i dunno it made me think. Such a fucking contrast from Thursday. We just cruised around, listening to tunes, drinking a little, attempting to crash a party, running from authority. Those are the nights I miss. Nights when you feel alive for the right reasons. Here's to more of those. Cambridge based please. I miss Cambridge now. It feels more like home than Lincoln ever did. I dunno. It's strange, Colleen and maybe Lav and/or narayan will be heading to uni there in September, and I'm sure they'll love it, well ... maybe not narayan so much, although there is a castle there i don't know if he likes castles. But for gigs and nightlife Lincoln is pretty cool, and awesome student life too by all accounts.

So now I'm feeling like I need to do something different. Things need to change. Most of all I want someone. A very specific someone. And I don't wanna feel like I'm living a wasted life (do I say anymore? I dunno). I just need to feel like new shit is gonna happen. And soon. Yeah you can't have everything. But i need something. Some sort of rush. some sort of new place. new person. new experiences. Yeah you can judge me if you want. But we're all gonna die. And I wanna deserve it. (c)asofterworld - linkage This post has taken a serious turn for the emo but oh well. We all need a bit of that in our lives. I bought some new shit today, a couple of rings and a bracelet and a couple of shirts. Thinking of getting my hair cut pretty soon too. Nothing too drastic, just make it a little more emo (IF THAT IS POSSIBLE?!) no of course it is. everything can always be more emo. just add little black stars. But you know I'd give it all up for you. Sometimes love isn't about how much someone suits you, but how much you're willing to change to suit them. I fucking hope Tom has my money when I get back to Cambridge (backstory: I lent him £160 a few weeks ago, cos he couldn't afford to pay for some shit. Then he went to Scotland and I came home. The rest, as they say, is history.)

As far as college and uni goes, my FMP is fucked cos my actor left at easter and so did I, and I didn't book a camera for any time before we go back. Hopefully I can get a lend of J's but still, doesn't solve the actor/timings problems. It's a load of crap anyway, I wanna be a scriptwriter not a director. I have the ideas but I don't give a shit about getting em onto film. Write. Just let me write and there wouldn't be any problems. I'm going to uni to write, but me actually getting to my first choice (Bournemouth) depends on me making this film. It's Catch 22 I guess. Or maybe catch 23 (I wish i cared enough about this to try harder.) Why is it I cared enough about that stupid Film Studies report to write 6000 words but I don't care enough about my actual FMP to organise it properly? GAH. Oh well, it could be worse, I could be Lavinia. HAHA. pure filthy banter.

In other news: 1) If anyone wants to sell me a Friday day ticket to Reading festival I'd gladly take that off your hands. I don't think I've got much of a chance of getting to GIAN at this point considering it's tomorrow. Fail.
2) I'll be back in Cambridge on Tuesday and as bored as hell no doubt, so if people wanna do shit then hit me up. I think I'm heading to March at the weekend to help Lav with filming FMP even though i should probably be doing my own. But between then and then I am down for anything.
3) Narayan if you read this and have a scanner or go to Jamie's then i could use a digital copy of the TV studio script, I failed to aquire one on the last day of term. HELP ME HELP YOU. HELP ME HELP YOU!
4) gotta sort my fucking life out. In the immortal words of P Diddy on twitter: "LET'S GO!!!" Oh and bring on the summer.

I got ink today. I know right? Not the anatomical heart that was rumoured a couple of posts back, mainly because they only had an hour slot free, but also because it woulda been HELLA EXPENSIVE! But I'm still considering it - I saw a few designs in there that were really impressive. I got my latin today. 'Amor Vincit Omnia' - Love conquers all. I got it on my wrist for a reason. If you know me you know the reason. And I has pictures.

In the shop with the outline on there. I was pretty much on facebook the whole time.
I don't wanna sound like a douche but it didn't hurt. I mean it did, but it hurt goood.


Yeah so they clingfilmed me up like a chicken breast, taped me up good.
I left it a couple of hours then had it off. They guy said I didn't need to clingfilm it again,
cos it's just text or some shit. The 'c' in Vincit looks a bit like an 'e' don't you think?


And there she is. Real nice. Gotta get me some sudocrem or some shit later.
Really pleased with it, and the guys in the shop were cool too. £50 well spent.
Gonna make plans for that Anatomical Heart some time!! COME ON!! FUCKIN' HOSTILE!

After that I bought some beers. Later I'm gonna drink the beers cos the sun is out and it's warm and it's awesome. Last night was super cool too. Me, Rach, J, Narayan, Lav, Colleen all went out to cineworld, saw Haunting in Connecticut which was kinda lame. Predictable and blah blah. I remembered things I thought I'd forgotten. After we hit Pizza Hut. That was super fun. Gave rise to all sorts of new injokes. ECTOPLASM!! BLLAAUUURRGGHH!! Shit on your chest. You've got cancer and alzheimers oh well at least I don't have cancer. I'm OUTstanding. Build your salad. Filthy Banterloonneeess!! MATE last day of college tomorrow. Easter's gonna be good big feel. Love ya kids. x